sometimes we fight about stupid shit, even though...
“You’re too honest. You need to start keeping that shit in your head. It’s fucked up.” He’s not even looking at me anymore. Just down and away. “Is it really a problem?” “If you want friends or a boyfriend. Don’t you have a filter? You just don’t have any control over what you say.” “I do.” I sound like a kicked puppy...
I'm sorry for...
…All the posts about how ghetto/much of a shithole Rochester is. It’s really not that bad. Except where I live…
He laughs and doesn’t believe me. “tell me more.” And the way he says it, jokingly is infuriating. “We live above a bar in an apartment with a door that doesn’t really lock. The screen was taken out of the door months ago and never replaced with glass. Our landlord is an ass and won’t fix anything. I can’t walk to my own door without stepping on glass....
A bit of explanation...
Perhaps I should explain that none of this is in anyway in order of occurrence. Sometimes life seems like it’s a consecutive series of events, one thing after the other after the other. And sometimes it doesn’t. For instance, today I woke up, took a (cold) shower, brushed my teeth and got dressed. That is a consecutive series of events. Last weekend I went home and spent time with a...
OMFG I LOVE STANLEY KUBRICK
Our water is fucking cold. Maybe the landlord turned our heater down because the rent is late. I don’t know, but shaving my legs is becoming a hassle and my hair feels like it just wont come clean. We don’t regulate our heat. The apartment is baking all the time. Just feels like a fucking sauna. And it’s so cold outside that the windows fog up at night. Everything smells like...
but where would that leave me?
I've always had the desire to get in my car and...
I lie and tell him I can’t sleep because I’m not used to sharing a bed and maybe thats not all a lie but really I can’t sleep because I’ve waited almost two years to lay down next to him and it’s everything I really thought it would be and he’s not trying anything even though I know he wants too and he doesn’t understand how much more that makes me like...
Girls are insane...
me: I haven't left yet... Do you wanna hang out?
him: it's up to you.
me (inside): WTF? DOES THAT MEAN HE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE ME? DOES IT MEAN HE DOES, BUT JUST DOESN'T WANT TO SAY IT? IS HE JUST INDIFFERENT? WHY CAN'T HE JUST SAY YES LIKE A NORMAL PERSON?
me: well I'm really indecisive. I just don't think I'm going tonight no matter what.
him: I really don't know what to tell you, it's your decision
me (inside): WTF JUST SAY YES! JUST SAY YES YOU IDIOT
me: But do you want too?
him: I would
me (inside): WTF DOES THAT MEAN? IS THAT A YES? YOU WOULD WHAT? JUST SAY YES.
me: I dunno. maybe I'll come over... I'm kind of tired.
What's waiting on the other side
I told her from the start, “San Diego is my goal.” I wish I’d been able to tell her something straight out of Kerouac like “I’ve got a girl out there waiting for me.” Except it wouldn’t be a girl, it would be a boy. And no one wants a boy to wait for them. A girl would want a man to wait and no real man would sit back and waste time. But anyways, I...
I thought the club would be smaller and dirtier. In upstate, or maybe just this part of upstate, there’s not much to do except drink and look for tail. We were all about the drinking, but neither of us wanted to go home with any guys. But the club was big and fairly empty aside from a table near the stage and a few lonely boys posted up at the bar. The bartender was blonde and fit and knew...
midnight ghetto music
thump thump thump thuuuump thumpuh the inconsistent pulse of someone’s head hitting fiberglass. skreee eeyawww skreeeeyaww yawskreee thump thuuuummpah the unpleasantly off-time shrieks of multiple car alarms. crack crack crackcrackcrack skreeeyaw skreeee eeyaww thumpah thump thump the muffled spark and bang of a handgun. gworrrrrrrrorrrrrrrrrorrrrrrr crack crack crackk ...
I left as the c-shift workers trickled in. Carrying my half full xerox box. They held doors for me. Said goodnight. Smiled. I don’t know any of them. Our schedules never coincided before that night. It was late. Lawrence was cold. Above my head the trees met the starless sky. I looked up for one last time at the building I’d spent years in. Ninetofive. MondaythruFriday. I...
I’m at that part of New York where everything smells like cow shit and the only radio stations that come in are country or sports radio and every single one of them are talking about the Pats loss last night so I drive listening to static. Upstate there are towns called things like Selkirk, Mohawk and Ilion. You can look on one side of the highway and see run down farms and the other, run...
The apartment smells of coffee and cigarettes and when she stumbles out of her room in the morning asking why I didn’t wake her I don’t know how to respond other than I didn’t know the time. Which is a lie. I had been staring at the clock for nearly an hour watching it creep closer to the time when we’d both be late. She leaves fast and I stay behind for another hour doing...
The Daily: Women officially park better than men →
I can parallel park like a beast! Even if I hate it and try to avoid it at all costs. thedailyfeed: A lot of sexist jokesters will be eating their words after reading this British study, which found that women park cars better than men. Researchers found that women position cars more accurately, use better technique and are more likely to find an open spot in a parking lot. The…